Abraham, a long time patient of the psychiatric ward, performed only one single activity daily; sitting, rocking and staring out of his room's second floor window. Today, was nurse McAffey's day to observe him. She charted her observations, and sadly returned to her station.
Little did they know that Abraham had befriended the spider on the other side of that barred window. He watched the spider daily; trap a cockroach and eat it's savory meal. Today it was Nurse McAffey. Tomorrow it will be another pathetic nurse on duty who silently observes him. No one will notice they're missing. (100 words)
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Friday Fictioneers Prompt Photo December 19, 2014
Copyright: Douglas M. Macllroy
Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wiseoff-Fields, Addicted to Purple. For more information:
http://rochellewisofffields.wordpress.com/2014/12/17/19-december-2014/
BEAUTIFUL WORDS 
It reminds me of a story I read a long time ago about abuse. I believe it was a fly in that girl’s case and she was hoping she wouldn’t have to leave the hospital. In the end, she let the fly infect her and died as a result. It was very sad. Your conclusion in this story makes me sad.
Thank you for reading and commenting. That is a sad story of the little girl. Sadly, who could blame her? Yes, this story isn’t very happy, but with 100 words or less, I didn’t have much room for a happy ending. 😀
hehe that’s true.But you were definitely successful in being concise. Usually sad stories would make me very sad but at this time of the year, it’s hard to be sad coz of all the festivities around and new year being only 12 days away! I am eagerly waiting to go home! 😀 and what’s with the thanks n stuff today? lol Have a good rest of the day. gotta run ttyl.
Do you get to go home to Asia? If so, that is wonderful! Yes, it is a happy time of year and I hope your season is filled with bright and wonderful joyful things!
Aww thank you. I wish u the same. 🙂 Luckily, home is just 3 hrs away from me actually. My family is here. 🙂
I’m happy to hear that your family is so close!
Great story Joy, I like you place Abraham into 2 worlds, the one he observes and the another he is being observed.
This to me sounds more realistic than fiction 🙂 What you have captured is often true in many cases – other than psychiatric wards…we have many comatose patients who are believed to be hearing and conscious of everything but have no way to express, because their output mechanisms don’t function !!! This story is an example of the thin line between fiction, science and reality !!!
Really? That is very interesting. You are a nurse or health care worker? That is awesome! Thank you for your explanation.
Oh no, neither ! But I have my brother who is in a coma last couple of years and I have read a lot about comatose patients being actually conscious of everything around them but they have no control over their output mechanisms … the neural connections are apparently snapped and failed and there is no way yet to record the level of consciousness in a human brain. I have read of an accident case history, where the comatose patient recovers after 18 years and recollects every conversation around his bed his doctors had !! Eerie when you think of it.
I guess it is the case with those with mental illnesses too. As you have written in the story, we are the ones who is missing to see what Abraham is seeing.
That is very interesting! Thank you for this information. 🙂 I do hope your brother regains conscientiousness.
Sad story, but I was captivated..you did a good job at having the reader feel emotion in not many words.
Thank you! I appreciate you reading and commenting. I am happy to know that you could feel the emotion. 🙂
I was quite captivated. So….kind of like the cockroach? It sounds like Abraham was freer than maybe those observing him thought he was, more so than the cockroaches, who perhaps, he felt sorry for. Or did he envy them?
I have to say Coleen, you have an analytical mind similar to mine. 😀
🙂 Great minds Priceless! 🙂
Without a doubt!! 😀
Personally, I think he had created his own little world and hated the nurses that observed him each day and documented their observations. He imagined them being the cockroach, and possibly he is the spider 😀 Anyway, that is my opinion. Can’t do a whole lot with 100 words or less. Someone in the group said they think the bug is a dung beetle, but I think it is a cockroach.
Reminds me a bit of Dracula 🙂 A little bit scary but this one is blended with an emotion of desolation … great work Joy…. Waiting for your next story 😀
Thank you! I appreciate your words of encouragement. 🙂 It was just a story of a human condition. No telling what my next story will be about! I’m anxious to find out too. LOL!
I could never right anything beyond ‘Once upon a time’ ,so it’s exciting to see writers of actually write stories 😀
Of course you can write! Just think up a story and write it down or type it out. Easy! All you need is a little imagination. 😀
That is a foreign word for me. lol !! May be someday it will come to me. Till then I will enjoy reading everyone else’s 🙂
Well good, then I will look forward to your comments. 🙂
oops PJ 🙂
Ooops?? What??
I was supposed to call you PJ but I wrote Joy in first comment 🙂
Ha! I didn’t even notice. No problem. 😀
Quite sad, but he seems happy in his own world.
That’s true! He has apparently learned a way to deal with the anger caused by the nurses observing him. 😀
The saddest part is that no one will know they are missing.
Yes, that is what Abraham thinks anyway. I need to start making up 100 words stories with a happy ending! LOL! Merry Christmas!
Dawn, I apologize. You may not celebrate Christmas but something else, or maybe not. If I offended you, I apologize.
Sounds like there’s a lot of internal seething going on here. Nicely done.
Exactly! Thank you Sandra. He is seething.
Chilling story, Priceless Joy. Great use of the prompt, and the idea of both being trapped and getting revenge. Nice job!
Thank you so much! There is only so much one can do with 100 words. 😀
Indeed! But that’s what makes this so addictively fun. 😉
You’re right! It is addictive. Rochelle warned me about that. Haha!!
Dear Joy,
Creepy little web of a tale you’ve woven. Good use of the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle. Yea, creepy. One of these Friday’s I will write a happy story. 🙂
I like the two realities Abraham experiences. A great idea. Well written.
Thank you Margaret! 🙂