They finally made their escape.
“That was a close call mi amor.” Roberto clasped Rosa’s hand and pulled her closer to him.
“Si, I am so glad we were able to get away from him. He would never let me marry you. I just couldn’t tell him I was carryin’ su bebe’. He would kill me.”
Rosa took one hand and placed it on her stomach, “I will be showing before long and could not have kept it a secret any longer.”
“Today is the beginning of our life together mi amor.”
Roberto reached down and picked up the lightest backpack and handed it to Rosa.
When the ‘coyote’s’ jeep pulled over to pick them up, Roberto made sure the money he had been saving was still in his pocket.
“We have a long journey, but first, we must get ourselves across this border.”
“Si, Roberto, first things first.”
This is my first attempt at “Monday’s Finish the Story” challenge, hosted by babso2you. The challenge is to write a story with 100-150 words. We are given the first sentence for the story and a photo prompt. If you are interested in joining this challenge please click on this blog:
37 thoughts on “Finish the Story 1-19-15”
Great job! Thanks for the suggestion…just wrote mine!
I just now finished reading yours and you did an EXCELLENT job! This is my first try at this particular challenge and I honestly didn’t know what to do with the first sentence (the one we were given). It seemed to me that it belong at the end! LOL! Keep writing! I saw that Ryan Lanz is following you. He is an author. Are you following him? (I hope) If not, his blog is The Writer’s Path.
Nice first post for Mondays Finish the Story. You’ve given us a lot of backstory, with just a few hints, something hard to do in 150 words. You also leave us hanging, wondering if they will make it. Well done.
Thank you very much. I honestly did not know what to do with that first sentence so I left it sort of hanging there (it appeared to me it belonged at the end). Then I saw what the others were doing and I felt stupid. LOL! I wanted to leave the story with them getting in with the coyote (the man that risks a lot by transporting the Mexicans get across the border. They are only in it for the money and couldn’t care less what happens to their passengers. It is with many risks and dangers for them to be putting their lives into his hands (plus take all his savings just for the car ride). In the southwest, this happens daily.
Hello, Joy. I want you to know that I am nominating you for a Versatility Blogging Award.
Hi Patty, I truly appreciate you thinking of me but I don’t accept awards anymore. I state that on the line underneath my blog name on my front page. Instead of accepting awards, I write a Saturday post and introduce blogs that I follow. Thanks for thinking of me! ((Hugs!)) xo
I’m sorry. I just didn’t see that.
It isn’t easy to see but I didn’t know where else to put it. I need to find a way to make it easier to see.
I changed the header and color of my blog and you can see it better now. It sort of got swallowed up with the other colors.
I just looked and it looks lovely and easily seen.
Thank you Patty. I thank you for thinking of me. 🙂
Well done Priceless!!
Thank you Colleen! After I had finished writing it and had published it, I noticed the jeep’s license plates are from Alaska! LOL! (I doubt coyote’s would have jeeps with Alaska plates). 😀 Oh well….
The Coyotes could be running down for some fast cash making schemes…… 😉
They could be stolen license plates! 🙂 Yes, the coyotes are very cold hearted. I hate they have started calling them “coyotes.” Poor coyotes (real ones) don’t deserve to be disgraced that way.
Just bad stuff every where Priceless!
Sadly, that sort of stuff follows greed.
I would have to agree with you on that one Priceless.
I hope they make it – I’m not sure how much one can trust these “coyotes”. Mind, I watched “Machete” not long ago so I’m probably biased!
I agree with you -you CAN’T trust the coyotes. I hear terrible things about them. They get the people over the border then dump them to walk through the desert alone, and a lot of other terrible things.
I like how it suddenly starts with action. It makes you wonder what happened before and you immediately want to know what will happen next. Great job! 🙂
Thank you. I think I blew it though with that first sentence. They give you the sentence and I didn’t know what to do with it. It felt like it needed to be the last sentence, not the first one, but it has to be the first sentence.
Now that I read it again I see what you mean. But the sentence works both ways if you put it at the beginning or end. If you would’ve put it at the end it would’ve cut the story too short. The way you left the end made it seem there’s more to the story. 🙂
Thank you! We were given the sentence as the first sentence in the story (and could not change that). Well, most important, I had fun writing it. 🙂
Ooh I misread that, sorry. I still liked the way you left it alone. I’m glad you had fun! 🙂
Thank you! I am glad to hear that. I felt that is what I did wrong is to leave it alone.
I forgote, Thank you !!
I am so happy that you joined in to the challenge! I loved your story! (Might want to edit and change Roberta to Roberto – 2nd line.) Well done, and chock full of emotion! Thank you for participating and I hope that you will join in again this coming Monday! Be well Joy! ^..^
Thank you Barbara! I kind of blew it on this one. After I had published it I noticed the plates on the jeep says it’s from Alaska.
Thanks for telling me about that typo. 🙂
A very exciting tale with a lot of built-in truth~ Certainly left me wondering how it all ends?
One can only imagine knowing the stories we know about the “coyotes'” :O Thank you for reading and for your comment. 🙂
This is a great first attempt! It leaves me wanting to know more about Rosa and Roberta. 🙂 I look forward to future entries.
Yes, it was my first attempt and I messed up with Roberto ‘s name in an area or two. Thanks!
Hi Joy, I enjoyed your story very much. The other comments are right in saying you have piqued our interest in the characters which is a great skill to have as we all now ant to know if they do make it across the border and is the baby going to be ok. Well done.
Thank you so much. We hear such terrible things about the “coyotes,” those that are suppose to get the people safely across the border. Much of the time they dump them in the desert to fend for themselves and they die of thirst. Very sad.