The neighborhood has seen better days, but Mrs. Pauley has lived there since before anyone can remember. She raised a family of six boys, who’ve all grown up and moved away. Since Mr. Pauley died three months ago, she’d had no income. She’s fallen behind in the rent. The landlord, accompanied by the police, have come to evict Mrs. Pauley from the house she’s lived in for forty years.
Today’s prompt: write this story in first person, told by the twelve-year-old sitting on the stoop across the street.
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Binky’s daddy told him that Mrs. Pauly ‘cross the street is havin’ to move outta her house she’s been in fer over forty years cause she can’t pay the rent. I like Mrs. Pauly. I liked Mr. Pauly too. He died some months ago. Mrs. Pauly always gave cookies to the kids on the block when she baked cookies. She’s a nice old lady. She was nice to all the kids on her block.
Binky’s daddy said Mrs. Pauly’s landlord came over and demanded payment fer the rent but she didn’t have no money so he gave her three days to get out. She ain’t got nowhere to go cept the streets. She don’t want her boys to know bout it. Mrs. Pauly is real sick and she won’t make it even one week on them streets. That’s why I been sent here.
I been sent here to escort Mrs. Pauly to her everlasting and forever home, cause Mr. Pauly is waitin’ fer her. That’s what I is. I is the “escortin’ angel for Mrs. Pauly.
Interesting twist. I’ve never thought of an angel as countrified either. I think it worked.
Thank you. I’m glad to know it worked because I didn’t want angels to be “cloned” to all be refined or something. I wanted there to be diversity in angels too. 🙂
Great ending! Although I’m worried about Mrs. Pauly’s boys, I hope they’ll be alright without her 😞
Yes, I should have considered them when I was writing the story. They’ll miss her but then, they have lives of their own so they will be okay. 🙂
Very creative with the “angel” twist!
Thank you! I wanted to go a different route and make it interesting. Thanks for the comment. 🙂
Very different perspective on the topic, like your story
Thank you.
Another good one did not think that was how it was ending but I really liked it
Thanks! I kind of went with the flash fiction style. Under 200 words (or at least close). I thought I would make my ending a little different.
Good one
Have you ever participated in the flash fiction challenges? Would you be interested in it?
I never have but now that writing 101 will be done so I have been thinking about doing something else. I have enjoyed writing
I host this challenge weekly (The blog is only for this challenge so if you follow this blog, you will only get a weekly challenge post and not any other posts) (the next challenge post will come out next Tuesday):
https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2015/04/28/fffaw-week-of-april-29-2015/
Weekly is good I will try it out. Thanks
Great! It’s a lot of fun.
I look forward
indeed a beautiful story. nice work
Thank you very much. 🙂
Oh……I’m glad she has an escortin’ angel and won’t be out on the streets alone. I’d rather she be with an angel and going to Mr. Pauley. 🙂
I agree with you! He’s a very nice escorting angel and will get her to Mr. Pauly safely. :D:D
Heart warming. Very comforting. ❤
Thank you Colleen. 🙂
I love your twist, I didn;t see coming, thank you
Thank you so much. 🙂
As usual, you never cease to amaze me. Great take on the assignment. In a few minutes, you will see why. 🙂
I look forward to finding out why! 🙂
Please read if you haven’t already 🙂 http://terriwebsterschrandt.com/2015/04/29/the-cost-of-free-writing/
I just read it. Thank you so much for the kind shout out! I am humbled. You did great on the assignment.
That’s a well short Writen story 🙂
Thank you so much! 🙂
such a great read! I was reading through the comments, and saw that you were talking about another writing challenge. I am starting to wonder what I am going to do without writing 101. Can you explain more?
Or have any other suggestions?
Oh yes, there are some fun weekly writing challenges. They are called flash fiction challenges. If you follow these 3 blogs, you will get the weekly writing prompt for the challenge: (they are a lot of fun!)
https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com
https://mondaysfinishthestory.wordpress.com
https://sundayphotofictioner.wordpress.com
great!! thanks for the links
You’re welcome!
This was a soul touching piece of writing. The child at first loving the old lady and then the angel escorting her to her husband. Well written
Thank you so much Scrapydo2! 🙂 🙂
Really enjoyed this one PJ. The ending was great.
Thank you Rachel! I have been wondering where you were. Good to see you on the blogs again.
You are so innovative. Love reading your posts!
Thank you so much! I am honored by your comment. Thank you!
Loved this twist, brilliant.
Thank you so much! 🙂