New Blog Title!

For those of you who read and/or follow my blog will notice that today I have changed my blog title from “Bleeding my Emotions” to “Inspiring my Emotions.”

Having the title of “Bleeding my Emotions” made me feel I needed to keep my blog to more depressive type posts. In reality, I really want to try and stay away from bleeding heart posts. Although I still want to post more about my struggle OUT of mental illness in my future posts, I do want to keep it on a more positive light.

It is my hope that my new blog “direction” will enlighten, entertain, amuse, as well as, be endearing to you in the future. After all, you are the one who I write to in the first place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Picture Credit to Pinterest

The Secret About Me

I am very adept at putting “normal” on my face and hiding my real self from most people. However, sometimes anxiety strikes me and I become overwhelmed with whatever it is that I am feeling overwhelmed about.

Why am I this way? This is how I feel…

It feels like so many people during my life have taken so many chunks of me that I am continually morphing into less of a person – mostly because the very same people that have taken those pieces, harshly judge me, causing me to feel that I am less – not worthy – and broken.

It feels like these particular people who have “picked me to death” throw stones at me and with each stone which is thrown, it feels like I am becoming less and less.

Fear consumes me; fear of more painful rejection, fear of making mistakes, fear of being punished, fear of being abandoned, and fear of being lost. My fear is the child of low self esteem who was conceived from the actions and words of unkind people.

All my life I have had to become less so certain people in my life could become more. Because, to them, to become more was to take away from someone else. You know that type.

So I struggle. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle to rid my thoughts of those horrible memories and to fill my mind only with that which is kind, and good, and true, and beautiful.

I must forgive. I must forgive my attackers and I must forgive myself. I am working on it. Sometimes, it is just so hard. So damn hard.

Now that I have told you my secret… I’m not sure if I can hit “Publish” — because it is so much easier to hide.

Pinterest Photo

One of Those Days

Sometimes it isn't easy to fight against all the negativity that has come our way in our lifetime. There are days that all that negativity in my life bans together to gang up on me. Today is one of those days.

Do you ever feel like all the harsh words and wrongful deeds ever done to you and all the mistakes that you have made in the past, are all tumbling down on top of you? It sure feels like that to me today. I keep hearing all these negative and hurtful things being said to me and seeing all the mistakes that I have made.

I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO THOSE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS!

Instead, I am allowing the sonshine to fill up my beautiful and tortured soul.

Picture from Pinterest. (Thank you Pinterest).

 

Bleeding My Emotions

When I first started my blog in the middle of November (right before Thanksgiving) I was as green as a person can be in starting my blog. Amid my confusion of putting this blog together (customize, name, etc.) I decided at the time the best name for my blog was “Someday I will Get This Write (Right)” because I was so confused and was literally learning by trial and error. Yet I knew this name was only going to be temporary.

Now I feel I have a grown a little on this site (at least I hope so). And I have changed the name of my blog to “BLEEDING MY EMOTIONS.” I chose this name to help me have the courage to bear my emotions on my blog and to write about past events that are all difficult for me to talk about, especially on a public forum. But I know the only way that I can do this is with all the love and support I have received from all you wonderful friends and bloggers that are following my blogs or at least reading them once in a while and leaving a sweet comment.

I believe it is you, dear friends and bloggers that are giving me the courage to post things that are uncomfortable for me to post; to literally, “bleed my emotions” into my posts — or future posts. As a result, I hope you will find them always inspiring, maybe sometimes comical, but most of all, I hope my stories enlighten you and make your life, even in a small way, a little bit brighter.

So.. for 2014, the Title of my blog is: BLEEDING my EMOTIONS