New Blog Title!

For those of you who read and/or follow my blog will notice that today I have changed my blog title from “Bleeding my Emotions” to “Inspiring my Emotions.”

Having the title of “Bleeding my Emotions” made me feel I needed to keep my blog to more depressive type posts. In reality, I really want to try and stay away from bleeding heart posts. Although I still want to post more about my struggle OUT of mental illness in my future posts, I do want to keep it on a more positive light.

It is my hope that my new blog “direction” will enlighten, entertain, amuse, as well as, be endearing to you in the future. After all, you are the one who I write to in the first place. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Picture Credit to Pinterest

Birds of a Feather Band Together

I love watching the hummingbirds at my feeders. I have three feeders that are relatively close to each other. For about a month this summer, little orange Rufus Hummingbirds took over the feeders and would chase away all the little green humingbirds (the most prominent hummingbirds here). Sometimes I would go out and stand close to the feeders and the little orange hummingbirds would even try to run me away from the feeders. Instead, I would shoo them away so the green birds could feed.

One day I was watching the Rufus hummingbirds (there were about three of them) running off the green hummingbirds. There were so many green hummingbirds they were just running the orange birds ragged by their constant attempts to feed. (It was quite entertaining watching the green hummingbirds wear out the orange hummingbirds). After awhile, all the birds, green and orange, were peacefully eating at the feeders together.

The very next day it would start all over again.

 

 

 

 

Long Childbirth and a Happy Ending

When I was pregnant with my son, we lived in a very tiny town in eastern Colorado. This small community was actually very spread out because it consisted of many farmers and ranchers and their large families. The town had a very small hospital and only one physician.

When it was time from my son to be delivered, my husband took me to the hospital. Although my labor pains were not “hard” at that time, as soon as they broke my water, they became severe. The first 5 hours of labor were fairly easy and I felt, “Great! This will be a breeze!” (I spoke too soon). The next 24 hours were excruciating! In the middle of the night, the nurses took me into the delivery room and had me pushing for two hours. As soon as they took me back to my room, they called my doctor. He came rushing to the hospital furious with the nurses for doing this. I was in so much pain and was completely exhausted from all the pushing with no results.

As I struggled on with my labor, I watched my husband being fed “T-bone” steaks from the hospital staff. (All I was allowed was ice chips and jello).

They were giving me injections for pain, but that didn't give me any relief at all.

After almost two days of hard labor, they took me to X-Ray to see what was keeping my baby from being born. Apparently, I had an extra curve in my pelvis. My labor pains were so intense, I was really really struggling, both physically and emotionally.

After being in intense labor and severe pain for over three days, my husband finally told my doctor, if this baby isn't delivered in the next two hours, I demand you to do a C-section. (He had been asking for a C-section for me prior to this). The doctor kept telling him he did not want to do a C-section because if I gave birth naturally, I would be able to give birth naturally to any future babies. “What?!” (Honestly, the only reason I lasted that long was because I had no other choice). Apparently, this was the mindset in a county that is almost all farmers and ranchers with large families.

Three days and seven hours later, with the help of forcepts, our son was born. After the whole delivery process was complete, the feeling I had was PURE BLISS. Thankfully, my baby was healthy and the long birth did not affect him, however, it did affect me. It took me months to recover from that long delivery and I started having panic attacks and anxiety issues.

Inspite of an excruciatingly painful long labor, I had a perfect, healthy, baby. He was born one day before Mother's Day.

At that time, women and babies were kept in the hospital for almost a week. During the time of my hospitalization, the hospital gave my husand and I a “candlight T-Bone steak dinner with wine” in a room by ourselves.

The Daily Post for today is “Happy Endings“. I thought of this experience and couldn't think of a happier ending than having a beautiful healthy baby. (The candlight steak dinner and wine was just secondary).