It’s Not About Me

People don't like me, it's as simple as that. Perhaps they have made judgements about me based on what they have read from me on the internet. Or, possibly, they have heard other people talking about me and based their conclusion on that, or saw me and didn't like what they saw. Maybe their friend doesn't like me so they don't like me either. I can only speculate, wonder, wish, hope for more communication.

“Why don't you like me?”

“Let me tell you why I don't like you.”

I feel like a gangly teenager with the buck teeth, the big round black glasses, frizzy hair, and braces. I feel like I am suppose to be in a personality contest and if I don't win then it's the end of the world.

I feel like I try so hard that I inevitably do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, eat the wrong thing, write the wrong thing…you get my jest.

I'm not here to have a pity party. I am just saying, I would like to be your friend. Why can't we be friends? Why do people have to bully, humiliate and ignore other people?

What is the expectation that we are all suppose to live up to in order to be accepted, liked, loved, and wanted?

Do I look for it in a beauty magazine? Do I read, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (by Dale Carnagie?) Do I need to attend the “right” church, or go to the “posh” school, or wear the latest fashions, or drive the most expensive car?

Am I suppose to have a certain amount of money in my bank account, have a certain college degree, or certain type of friends?

Why are there so many uppity-up people? (Those people who think they are better than everyone else). Please tell me why you think you are better than me? And, better than Joe Blo that is sipping vodka under the Blankety Bridge?

Would the world end if you stopped feeding your ego? Do you think this world would be a better place if everyone stopped living to feed their egos? Not only would it not end, it would be a hella of a lot better place to live. Maybe countries and people would stop bombing each other, stop killing each other, stop hurting each other. Just stop….stop!

Maybe that little baby you just gave birth to, or your wife just gave birth to would have a better world in which to grow up in. A world without all this damn hate!

STOP HATING EACH OTHER! START LOVING EACH OTHER!

And, while you are at it. Please tell me why you don't like me so I can change. Or better yet. So you can change.

 

Are You Honestly Honest?

Seems that every time I lied, I got caught. So at an early age I learned that honesty truly is the best policy. Maybe I am honest to a fault. (If honesty can be a fault). There are exceptions to this rule (as there are exceptions to almost every rule). Those exceptions are “white lies.” White lies are those little tiny white butterflies that come to our lips when our friend asks if her butt looks too big… You know the questions I am talking about. Those dreaded questions that come and you have to consult the white butterfly to avoid an argument or from hurting someone's feelings.


Truthfully, I hate lies! I hate it when people lie and especially hate it when people lie to me. I have lost friendships over lies and I have lost trust in people that I dearly love because of lies. As you probably know, once trust is destroyed it is difficult to develop again. I may still love these people that lied to me but a huge component of that love has been destroyed…respect. For me personally, I want people to respect me just as much as I want them to love me.

 

For the most part I think I am an honest person. However, as I was writing this post, it occurred to me that there is one area of my life that I am a liar. Maybe liar isn't the correct word. I haven't been able to entirely open up about my life and my life experiences. Part of the reason I haven't is because of my personal safety.

I think we all need to keep that in mind, especially when posting on the World Wide Web.


My intention is to open up more in the future, yet still be safe on this HUGE internet world.