Blog for Mental Health

Blog for Mental Health asks each person who has had an experience with mental illness, either with themselves or through a loved one, to write a blog post about it. The objective is to pull mental illness out of the closet and change the stigma attached to it so more people who need help, will reach out and receive help. For more information regarding this challenge, please go to their website:

My experience with mental illness began shortly after my first child was born. I was left in hard (difficult and painful) labor for 2 1/2 days before they decided to take him with forcepts. In those days, Cesarian births were very rare and even rarer in a little bitty farming community of about 900 people. I began having panic attacks after this experience.

When my husband and I were going through a divorce and custody battle, I began to sink into a depression which continued getting worse. I describe the experience as “hitting the bottom and the bottom falling out.” It was a horrible experience that worsened as the grip of mental illness swallowed me into it’s gut of paranoia, severe depression and high anxiety.

For a long time, I couldn’t sleep at night. Often, I would stay up all night and pace, trying to get away from the horrible fears that had gripped me. I would write in my journal excessively and go on long walks in my neighborhood. I would have frightening hallucinations. I tried my best to look “right and normal” on the outside when on the inside my illness was eating me alive. My family members were ashamed of me and this caused me to try and look normal to them and other people.

After years of therapy and trying different medications, I was finally helped when anti-depressants were introduced to me. Apparently, I had a severe chemical imbalance and the correct medicine was able to correct this imbalance. Finally, I was able to feel and experience joy again, and to think as a normal person again. This was a huge breakthrough for me. There is hope. With the medications, knowledge, and therapy available now, there is hope and help for those who are experiencing mental illness. Mental Illness does include simple depression because simple depression can grow into severe depression if left unchecked. Please, don’t be ashamed to ask for help or ashamed to help your loved one find help.

“I pledge my commitment to the Blog of Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics, not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.”

I would like to give a “shout out” to my friend Cat, author of, “My Travels with Depression,” for introducing me to this site. (Please click on the gravatar below to read his excellent “Blogging for Mental Health” post).

My Travels with Depression





In Good Faith

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “In Good Faith.”

Describe a memory or encounter in which you considered your faith, religion, spirituality — or lack of — for the first time. ~ Daily Post Prompt 1/9/15

Growing up I was taught that God loved you only if you were a “good” person. As a child, when I got in trouble, I would be told that I was going to go to that “firey place” if I didn’t start acting good.

Yes, God and (his adversity) was used to put my little bitty self in-line. (I was a headstrong child). The impact of this on my immature imagination was greatly harmed and would visit me later in my life. (So please! Do NOT do this to your child).

Of course, I grew up fearing God. When we did go to church the preachers seemed to always preach, “hell-fire and brimstone.” I learned that I must avoid God because if he noticed me then I would be automatically judged “bad.” And, THAT would be a disaster of the worst kind.

As I matured (and battled all the inner demons) I learned that God is a loving God and NOT a God ready to throw his child into the “firey pit.” I learned that I was His child and that He LOVED ME. I learned He loves all of His children, “all the children of the world.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all be like that – love one another?

I think that is what God ultimately wants.