My Dream Letter

Dear Potential Future Husband,

I know you are reading this at this moment and you are looking for me. I am the woman of your dreams. Just ask my ex-husband. On second thought… DON’T.

For your information I will NOT do these tasks:

– I will not pick up your dirty underwear off of the floor. Please be advised if you throw it on the floor it will stay there. Make sure when you throw your underwear that it doesn’t stick to the wall. This could be bad.

– I will not put the cap back on the toothpaste for you. Make sure you do this every time you brush your teeth. Oh, and while you are at it, clean the @$ sink! I will NOT clean the sink after you have shaved or brushed your teeth.

These will be your duties:

– Put your dirty clothes in the laundry basket and on Saturday, take the clothes out of the laundry basket and put them into the washing machine. After the washing is finished, you put the wet clothes in the dryer. When they are dry, you F-O-L-D them and put them where they belong.

– Cooking. When you get home from work in the evenings, you will cook our dinner and then clean the dishes after the meal.

– Saturdays are the days you will clean the house. Every inch of it. If you insist, I will get you a Swiffer Sweeper. Be sure to empty the dust out of the vacumn cleaner after you have used it. And when you do, please do NOT get the dust all over the place.

In return:

– I will be nice to you and treat you respectfully.

– I will give you an allowance from your paycheck.

– You can go out with the “boys” one night a month but you must be home by 11:00pm.

For those interested, please apply within.

(Do not ask about sex. THAT is NOT in this contract).

Google Image

For Blogging 101 we are suppose to write a letter to our “Dream Reader.”

This is my letter. Of course, it is all written in fun, so men, please don’t apply. Really!