Why is it so quiet? There are no sounds at all, only silence. Absolute silence. Deafening silence. Yet, inside my head, I hear these horrible torturous screams. Oh my God, the screams, I cannot stand the screams. “WHY, WHY MUST I HEAR THESE SCREAMS!? WHY!? SSTTTOOOPPPPP!!
And the screaming stops. Ooooohhhh, My head is pounding! Oh My God! The screams have become moans. Agonozing moans of excrutiating pain. Moans pleading, reaching, grabbing, for relief, any relief from the horendous pain. “OHHH MMYYYY GODDDDD HEEEELLLLPPPP MEEEE!!!” The voices moan. OH THE MOANING, WHY MUST I HEAR THIS, WHY!? Dear God make it stop. STOP! PLEASE STOP!
The sound of a child whimpering. How can that be? It is silent. Everything is silent but I can hear the cries of a child, “Mommy.. Mommy..” The sounds of people moaning, “OOOHHHH GODDDDD HEELLLP MMEEE! OOOOHHH DDDEEEAAAARRR GGGODDDD MY BABY! HHHEEEELLLLPPP MMMMYYY BBAAABBBBY.”
“MAAMMMAAA! MAAAAMMMMAAAA!!” “MYY LLLEEEGGGS!” “MMMAAAAMMMMMAAAAAA!!!”
Terrible groans of pain and suffering. Deep hideous moans of severe and horrendous pain and undescribable suffering. Salty tears flow burning their path on my cheeks. ''DEAR GOD! PLEASE MAKE THIS GO AWAY! PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY! IIII CCCCAAAANNN NNOOOTTT SSSTAAANDDD ITTT!!” PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEEEE!!!
S I L E N C E.
Pictures of acrid smell of fleshing burning, blood, bodies, limbs, so much pain and horror inside a huge cloud of black smoke run through my mind.. Too much blood. My confused mind can not turn those horrible pictures off. SSSTTTTOOOOPPPP!!!
More screams. More moans. My mind can still hear the screams; still hear the moans, even through the Silence.
Two women walk into my room. I think they are nurses. They are dressed somewhat like nurses. One of the women puts something into the IV that is running into a vein in my arm. The other woman walks over to me. She is talking, but I can not hear the words. WHY CAN'T I HEAR? I MUST STOP THESE SCREAMS! I MUST STOP THIS PAIN! I try fixing my eyes on her lips. I watch, shaking from pain, as she moves her mouth. The first word she forms, “deaf.” The next word, “bombing.” Then she formed the words, “both legs.” Lastly, she formed the word, “Afghanistan.” She gently strokes my cheek and smiles at me with a gentle and caring smile. This sweet touch conflicts with the chaos inside my mind. The fear and pain overwhelms me, I pant trying to get air into my lungs and my hands are trembling. This must be a bad dream. This cannot be true.
MY LEGS?? BOTH OF MY LEGS GONE?? OH, MY GOD NO!!! DEAF?? I AM DEAF?? The bombing, oh yes, the bombing. NOOOOO!!! I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS. I CANNOT. I SIMPLY CANNOT!!
The medicine slowly and silently enters into my bloodstream; relieving the pain, comforting the fear, soothing the screaming and moaning. I drift slowly and silently into the clouds. My body relaxes as it accepts this liquid into my bloodstream.
You and I, sweetheart, are walking through a meadow sprinkled with brilliant yellow wildflowers that are gently swaying in the breeze. The breeze stirs my hair and tickles my nose. In front of us are the huge beautiful snow capped Rocky Mountains. The sun is snuggled behind the puffy white clouds as the rays of light, like fingers, penetrate the deep blue sky. We are together, finally together. You are smiling and I am happy. We travel this beautiful journey together, in silence, in wonderful, tranquil silence, just you and me.
Until the screaming begins again.