It’s Not About Me

People don't like me, it's as simple as that. Perhaps they have made judgements about me based on what they have read from me on the internet. Or, possibly, they have heard other people talking about me and based their conclusion on that, or saw me and didn't like what they saw. Maybe their friend doesn't like me so they don't like me either. I can only speculate, wonder, wish, hope for more communication.

“Why don't you like me?”

“Let me tell you why I don't like you.”

I feel like a gangly teenager with the buck teeth, the big round black glasses, frizzy hair, and braces. I feel like I am suppose to be in a personality contest and if I don't win then it's the end of the world.

I feel like I try so hard that I inevitably do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, eat the wrong thing, write the wrong thing…you get my jest.

I'm not here to have a pity party. I am just saying, I would like to be your friend. Why can't we be friends? Why do people have to bully, humiliate and ignore other people?

What is the expectation that we are all suppose to live up to in order to be accepted, liked, loved, and wanted?

Do I look for it in a beauty magazine? Do I read, “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (by Dale Carnagie?) Do I need to attend the “right” church, or go to the “posh” school, or wear the latest fashions, or drive the most expensive car?

Am I suppose to have a certain amount of money in my bank account, have a certain college degree, or certain type of friends?

Why are there so many uppity-up people? (Those people who think they are better than everyone else). Please tell me why you think you are better than me? And, better than Joe Blo that is sipping vodka under the Blankety Bridge?

Would the world end if you stopped feeding your ego? Do you think this world would be a better place if everyone stopped living to feed their egos? Not only would it not end, it would be a hella of a lot better place to live. Maybe countries and people would stop bombing each other, stop killing each other, stop hurting each other. Just stop….stop!

Maybe that little baby you just gave birth to, or your wife just gave birth to would have a better world in which to grow up in. A world without all this damn hate!


And, while you are at it. Please tell me why you don't like me so I can change. Or better yet. So you can change.



My Day of Baking Bread

My friend came over today to teach me how to make bread. I have made rolls before but never loaves of bread.

After 8 cups of flour, 3 1/2 cups of water, salt, yeast, sugar, and butter we both had sticky bread dough up to our elbows.

After her bossy instructions of telling me I was kneading the dough wrong and showing me over and over again how to knead the dough, or that I needed to add more flour, or that I needed to add more water, or whatever it was I was doing wrong, I felt like taking that big lump of dough and putting an end to our friendship. But, I didn't, I just took the lumps along with the “instructions” and came out with two loaves of “fairly” beautiful bread.

I think I will continue buying my bread at the grocery store.


He Lost the Fight

This morning when I woke up, the first thing I did was look for my dog, Princeton. (I have written several posts about him). When I found him, he was out in the middle of my yard in a daze. I called for him and he recognized me and came over to the steps. Once I got him into the house, he wouldn't/couldn't move and was breathing hard.

He has been doing so very well. In fact, I cut down on his dog food, he started losing some weight and has been able to get around much easier. I felt like we had gotten over the hill. Until this morning.

I immediately made an appointment with the veternarian and my friend and I were able to get him into my car.

There was only one thing the vet could do for him and that was to relieve him of suffering. Sadly, he couldn't relieve me of mine.

My heart is broken. This morning, Princeton went over the Rainbow Bridge and is now running through the beautiful green fields.

I will miss my dear loyal friend.





Pictures from Pinterest


Sometimes We Just Need a Friend

Yesterday evening, one of my good friends called and asked me to come get her and her two dogs so she could stay the night at my house. Apparently, something happened in the middle of the night, the night before it scared her to death and she was afraid to spend the night alone. (Her home is in the backyard of her daughter's house). I was a little taken aback because it was 7:00 pm and I was settled in for the evening.

Having her stay at my house was no problem, I do have an extra bedroom and bed. Allowing her two bring her two large dogs was a bit more of a problem. I have two dogs myself and they don't easily share with dogs they don't know. But of course, I told her yes.

I called another friend of ours and she offered to go pick her and her dogs up in her van which would be easier for her dogs. I was relieved for her offer. After about a 45 minutes she brought our friend to my home. Our friend was crying, saying she even thought about killing herself. It was truly very sad.

Our dogs were growling at each other that evening. (My large dog wasn't too happy about having to share his space, plus he is old and grouch), but fortunately, they didn't get into a fight.

My friend is in early stages of Alzheimer's, which is very sad in itself. Her fear was very real, no matter if it was from something that really happened, or something that occurs from the disease itself.

We had dinner, talked, watched television, and talked some more, until it was time to go to bed.

The next morning she said she had slept much better because she felt safe. Then she started asking me to help her make something up that she could tell her daughter about coming over to my house to spend the night. (I know that she is afraid of her daughter, not because she is mean, but because her daughter has taken control of all of her finances since her husband died, 6 months ago). She really wants to get out from the control of her daughter. However, with the illness she has, that isn't possible for her. But how do you tell someone they need to be under someone's care because they are losing their mind?

I talked to her, explaining that I felt she needed to be open and honest with her daughter. They needed to work out anything that is causing distress to her and could only do that by honest communication. I asked her if she would like me to go with her to talk to her. She said, “Yes.” Then I thought of our friend that went to pick her up because she personally knows our friend's daughter. I asked her, “Would you rather Angie goes with you to talk to your daughter?” And she readily agreed to that because she knows that Angie and Kim know each other well.

Angie, our friend that went to pick her up the evening before, came and picked her up to take her back home and speak to her daughter. The three of them talked and worked out any problems and fears that our friend had. Thankfully, she is now settled comfortably at her own home.

About an hour after my friend left to go home, there was a knock at my door. I answered the door and it was a woman that use to live directly across the street but recently has moved. I could tell she wanted me to ask her in and I did. She sat down at the table and started telling me about a fight that she and her daughter had. Then she began sobbing and sobbing and telling me she just wanted to die because her daughter is so mean to her. This woman is learning disabled and has had a very rough life. Approximately 10 months ago, her mother passed away and a month later her father passed away. She had been living with them and helping them. Her sister lived right next door. Both properties belonged to their father. The brother who lives a state away is the estate executor, told them they had to pay the house payment, which they couldn't afford, in order to continue living there. They were not able to do so, so they had to move.They each have one daughter, who are still living with them. (Her and her sister). My sobbing friend has two very young grandchildren, whom she adores and does most of the raising of these children. She loves them dearly and watches over them like a mother hen.

I sat and talked with her for several hours. I made her lunch and talked to her about her daughter and grandchildren. Her daughter does say terribly mean and nasty things to her, in front of the children. I explained to her what she should say to her daughter when she talks to her disrespectfully, and not to allow it. She was afraid her daughter would not let her see the children again if she tried to take up for herself. (Her daughter was using that as a means of manipulating her). I tried to explain to her how not to allow her daughter to use the children as a manipulation tool. I explained to her that her daughter needs her more than she needs her daughter. By the time she left, she was much happier and stronger. I knew that she would be okay.

This was my crazy day (and night). I am so thankful it is over and that everything worked out well for my friends, after all.

Sometimes, we just need a friend.



I Was Lost But Now I’m Found!

Day 3: What is on my mind?

Day 4: Exploring the Neighborhood

It must have been the second day of the challenge that I got lost. There wasn't a topic for us to write about that day so they told us to go to the Daily Prompt and use that topic. I did for that day, and the next day, and the next.. then I went back to the zerotohero challenge post and found out these were the topics that I should have been writing about. Please pardon me for my tardiness. (I was doing what I thought I was suppose to be doing but I was wrong). Now I am following the zerotohero blog which means I have been found or maybe.. they have been found?? Anyway, in this post, I am combining Day 3 and Day 4.

What Is On My Mind? Exploring the Neighborhood

When I started blogging on WordPress I wanted to connect with other writers and learn to write better. I wanted to share some of my life experiences because I believed it would help others in their journey through life. I believed that possibly my “wisdom” or my “lack of wisdom” would help others not make the same mistakes I did, of which caused me great misery. Also, I wanted to connect with others and learn from them. (I am finding that I am learning more from them they are learning from me).

When I joined the WordPress Community, I really had no idea what I was doing and began learning (and still am) from my mistakes and my successes. I had no idea how large this community is and I was delightfully surprized to find just how much I enjoy blogging and reading other bloggers' posts. I found this community to be a new “way of life” for me, and I really do enjoy it. I have met people that I do truly love now and feel like I have known them all my life. I am anxious to meet new people and read their posts.

The WordPress community is certainly a family for me and for many others. I feel like I am finding long lost brothers and sisters. It is wonderful!

I will be exploring my neighborhood and I hope to meet you!